There she is....still growing and growing!  The baby seems to be doing just fine too! (haha)   I'm now at 20 weeks and half way to the finish line...at least before the lifelong marathon begins!  I've started to feel more movement which is fun, but Dan is never around for the big kicks.  I want to try to catch it on video for him when I see the bumps and things, but I'm never fast enough.

It's exciting to experience this and so crazy to think you have a baby growing INSIDE of you!  It's such a foreign experience for me, as it is for any first time mom.  Dan and I are excited for her to be here already!  I know... patience patience...  I've only had one mild freak out period where I was feeling so scared for the whole labor part.  I think I'll always feel anxiety for that day to come, but I know I have to do it!  Plus I can't worry yet, I still have a ways to go!  I have my OB and cardiology appointments next week, hopefully I'll have nothing abnormal to report.  So far so good!

I've read about having bizarre pregnancy dreams, and of the ones I can remember, they either weren't baby related or weren't all too bizarre.  I don't remember if the books said it's hormone related or not.  I think it probably has more to do with, your baby is always on your mind and I don't think there's a pregnant woman alive that doesn't wake up multiple times in the night to either go to the bathroom or adjust her 7 pillows when she switches sides.  So that constant in and out of consciousness could easily promote dreams and definitely allow you to remember them more easily. 

So I had one last night, where I ended up being pregnant with a SECOND baby somehow and was worried because they were going to be about 6 months apart and didn't know how I was going to handle TWO babies!  What the!?!?  Yeah, don't ask...  I remember thinking...how is this even possible?  I didn't think it was possible!  I turned out to be the one exception I guess...  Phew!  Glad that's not true!!  Can you imagine?!?!  It takes enough of a toll on you to sustain ONE life plus your own, let alone a third!  Yeah, Dan thinks I'm a freak...I pretty much agree.

So it was last weekend sitting in a movie that I felt the first hand or arm swipe on my innards.  It was unusual enough that I knew it was our baby girl, but nothing that protruded my belly, like I have experienced just recently.

The next noticeable movement happened just this week, Monday I believe, I was sitting here at my computer and I really started to feel the kicking (and by kicking I mean it could also be punching or arm movement, I really have no idea) and no joke, I could SEE her moving inside me with random bumps appearing in one area of my stomach.  It was the MOST bizarre, alien-like thing ever!  My sister in law told me how she has seen a full hand swipe inside her belly.  But you never really know how much you can really see or what it's like until you experience it for yourself.  It makes you wonder how protected your little growing baby really is...  But God designed women and this process to ensure perpetuation of mankind, so since I'm not plowing the fields and fixing wagon wheels or whatever else pioneer women did while pregnant, I'm sure things will be okay.  But knowing that still doesn't keep me from worrying!  Unfortunately Dan hasn't been able to feel the movement yet, but I'm sure it will be any day now!  I'm still not always sure if what I'm feeling is her moving, but sometimes I know it has to be and I swear I feel her doing somersaults or something and shifting sides, it's quite captivating.  The doctor told me that I might be excited to feel kicks now, but when they happen all night, I might not be so thrilled anymore!

My next OB appt is Nov. 27, followed by a cardiologist appointment at the end of that week.  For about 4-5 years now I've experienced strange heart palpitations.  It happens at any time, whether I'm exerting myself or not, usually when I'm not.  I could be picking up a shoe and suddenly my heart begins to race, like rabbit heartbeat race, even though my breathing is still the same.  I try to take deep slow breaths, but nothing seems to slow it down.  I sometimes get lightheaded and fear I could pass out, and I always have to stop whatever I'm doing because it freaks me out.  Then as abruptly as it began, my heart stops racing and goes to a seemingly normal rate, however it is pounding so hard I can hear it and it feels as though it could pop out of my chest.

This doesn't happen regularly or even very often, but when it happened after knowing I was pregnant I was more concerned that it could be a bigger deal than I thought.  I had talked to people about it in the past, and everyone who had heard of the same condition happening to others they knew, said it's just a random thing that doctors can't fix and there's really nothing that can be done but monitor it to see if it gets any worse or if you can pinpoint how it starts.  So anyway, chances are they will have me wear a monitor or something, and my heart will never do its thing and they will not know what to do.  I haven't felt like it was very serious, I just know it's not normal.  Either way, my main concern lies with the baby so hopefully I'll either find out the problem, or have my mind put at ease that it is in fact nothing to worry about!  Let's hope for the best!

So today was our big day (with bigger and biggest days to come...)!  Dan came with me for the 18 week ultrasound and if you couldn't tell from the color changes to the baby tickers....IT'S A GIRL!!!  We are both very excited!!! 

Dan was leaning more towards wanting a boy, and I was honestly indifferent.  I feel like there are advantages to both, however there seems to be a LOT of cuter stuff for girls!  But we know a girl is what we're supposed to have and next time we'll be hoping for a boy!  For now we are just letting it all sink in and it is SO NICE to be able to say "SHE" now!

We were both enthralled by the ultrasound, particularly Dan since it was his first time seeing all the movement.  The heart rate was at 145bpm and everything is healthy and normal!  So far so good!  Phew!!!   She isn't even here yet and I'm already a worried parent!  Our appointment was at 7:30am this morning, so I think she was still kinda sleepy and not quite as active as before, but I expect to be feeling kicks any day now!

We didn't really have time to call family to tell them because we had to be home for our life insurance policy physicals.  Kinda random I know, but Dan took the morning off and wanted it to be as productive as possible!  So the nurse that came was actually the first to know we're having a girl...sorry Grandmas and Grandpas!  We also brought a video cassette to record the ultrasound, but the lady must have messed up, because all we got was black...bummer.  So that's our news!